5 Uncommon Ways to Stop Toddler Power Struggles

Parents endure toddler power struggles very often. Before they go to work, children throw tantrums because they don’t want their parents to leave. Other times, they fight their parents due to the food for lunch or dinner. Some instances involve fighting due to the screen time they have and their parents just set the limit. Parents feel puzzled on how to manage their toddlers, especially if they refuse to listen to their words.

Changing some ways on managing the toddlers may do you good. This includes reducing punitive reinforcement and more positive parenting. Will this be effective for your family?

How to manage toddler power struggles?

It is painful to experience these power struggles as toddlers may continue this behavior when they grow up. Some kick the walls, punch the pillows, or scream at their parents just to get what they want. Parents ask themselves, what happened? Where did they go wrong?

While most parents wonder how to curb their toddlers’ misbehavior, some come up with uncommon ways to stop toddler power struggles. Read through the following and try these out in your homes.

Put yourself in your toddler’s shoes

Most of the time, parents tell their children what to do. From telling them to brush their teeth, to taking baths, toddlers sometimes feel that parents just order them around. When they stop doing what their parents want, parents lose their patience and sometimes explode.

However, if parents look at things from their toddlers’ shoes, they will see things differently.

For example:

Scenario:

Mom tells her toddler to brush their teeth just after watching their favorite tv show. However, toddler refuses. Mom gets angry at the toddler for refusing to obey what she said.

On the other hand, if mom sees this from the toddler’s perspective. The toddler just wants to rest for a bit since they feel lazy right after their favorite show. They will brush their teeth after a few minutes. Mom tends to see and jump to conclusions right away before thinking how will her toddler feel.

Parents need to remember that toddlers think differently than adults do. Remember that children will not understand everything you say automatically. Before reprimanding them, try to be in their shoes and look at things from their eyes.

Offer toddlers choices

During this toddler phase, they explore their environment and start to choose what they eat or which toy they want to play with. Sometimes, parents forget their children will grow up and neglect that they can choose which activities they want to do.

But how can parents change the game that their toddlers might be playing? Follow these three (3) steps in order to successfully give toddlers choices.

• Limit their options to two (2) choices only.
• Reassure them that as their parent, you’ll respect their choice.
• Choices must be approved by the parents as well.
• Offer these choices when necessary and not all the time.

Refrain from snapping at the toddler

Do you clash with the toddlers’ power struggles? Did you listen to what the toddler was saying before snapping at them?

Just when toddlers get on your nerves, pause for a moment. Take deep breaths and think about what might happen if you snapped.

One of the best ways of stopping toddler power struggles is to give toddlers extra time so they can prepare themselves. Begin with showing the toddler how to set up the table rather than snapping at them for not doing a good performance.

Extend your patience

Did the toddler just test your patience? When parents feel annoyed at their children about their rough antics, some parents just explode. In the end, it hurts their children and when their parents see that, it hurts them too.

One of the best things to do when this happens is to avoid adding fire to the ruckus the toddler already made. If the toddler throws a tantrum, prevent yourself from throwing one too. When the toddler sees their parents throw a tantrum, they might copy it every single time.

Remember to exercise your patience and deal with your children calmly.

Don’t let the toddler be an extension of yourself

Most parents think that their toddlers are mini versions of themselves. However, that’s not the case. Children have their own identities and are not the mini versions of their parents.

They’re completely different from their parents. Sometimes, parents get annoyed when their children stop doing what they want them to do. This results in power struggles and terrible tantrums.

From one adult to another, it is painful to be treated like someone without worth. The same concept applies to children as well. Let them be their own selves and respect them as another human being.

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Parents can find other ways to discipline a toddler. Some consider trying positive parenting techniques instead of punitive methods. Truth be told, it sometimes is by trial and error as every kid is different. The Pillars Christian Learning Center helps parents curb toddler power struggles through calm and peaceful methods. When you feel everything’s going nowhere, just remember to consult preschools near you.

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Top 5 Steps How to Teach Conflict Resolution for Kids

Kids often have arguments with other kids, especially when expressing their interests about tv shows or even cartoon characters. When they play with their friends, sometimes rough play can happen and it leads to fights. This happens not only in school but also at home, with siblings. They argue who gets to play with the remote controlled car or the video game console at home.

Every family differs on how they resolve conflict among children. Some take away their favorite toys or playing privileges in the afternoon. However, what are the best ways to teach conflict resolution to kids?

How can parents teach conflict resolution to kids?

Parents wonder when they should teach their children about conflict resolution. Kids get into small fights with their friends or when they have concerns with the teachers. Read through these steps and learn how to teach conflict resolution to kids.

Express the problem and understand their side

First, before parents start teaching their kids, let them calm down first. If parents begin telling their kids about conflict resolution while they still feel angry, it leads to something catastrophic. It might end up with the kid resenting their parent for doing so.

Take them out for a walk or a meal then let them calm down. When they have calmed down, start the conversation with asking how they feel about their day, how things are in school or how things led to the conflict with the other kid.

Let them share the problem themselves and don’t force it out of them or insinuate that they started everything. Tell them that honesty in this situation is vital to resolving the conflict.

When speaking to them, remember to teach them to use “I” in their statements, especially in expressing or sharing their feelings.

For example:

 

• I forgot my lunch box in the cafeteria and blamed him for taking it.

 

• Yesterday, I felt they were targeting me to lose the game so I ruined the board.

 

 

Extend your patience

In resolving a problem between people, remember to clear the mind first and distance the kids from one another in order to calm them down. Take them to a park or the playground for a few minutes. Others have them try counting activities, like counting from 1 to 100 or identify the different numbers in the deck of cards. Some encourage the kid to write down what they feel on a piece of paper.

When parents notice the kid calming down and breathing normally, slowly ask them about what happened without making them feel uncomfortable. Reassure them that they will figure things out when they calm down before trying to solve the conflict.

Give a proper and sincere apology

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.”

A well-thought apology communicates three (3) vital elements: regret, responsibility, and remedy. Apologizing to someone seems difficult at first. However, it strengthens the relationships you have with other people.

When parents encourage their kids to think of a good apology, it may be in the form of a letter sent to the kid they fought with. It may also be a talk between them so they can express their most sincere thoughts about the conflict. Sometimes, kids do not know how to make an apology letter.

Parents, share these elements with kids when they make an apology letter:

• Remember to tell the kid to use, “I’m sorry” in the letter or when they speak to the other kid.
• Know the kid’s fault and let them admit how they messed things up in the first place. It could be in the form of, “I grabbed your hair and it hurt you badly.”
• Let kids express how they will fix their conflict and tell them to ask for their forgiveness.

When kids give insincere apologies, it leads to negative reactions such as:

• Blaming the other kid for their fault
• Not being responsible for their actions
• Telling that the conflict was all a joke or a prank

Encourage kids to resolve the problem on their own

Parents give their children power, especially when it comes to conflict resolution. To parents, they forget to let their kids learn how to resolve problems and most of the time, they do it for their kids. This prevents kids from learning on their own and spoils them in the end.

Empower the kids by motivating them to listen to the other child and understanding what they say. Remind them not to use words that would end up hurting both of them.

Ask how the kids are doing

Check on the kids whenever you can and see if they resolved their issues or if they talked with each other already. Ask if they have started talking again or playing with each other.

However, if kids failed to resolve this conflict and refused to listen to the other kid, just find another one to play with. Remember to still be respectful and kind when speaking with each other.

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Whenever kids encounter conflict with each other, parents and teachers come to the rescue. However, there are times when they need to learn to resolve conflict on their own. The Pillars Christian Learning Center continues to help parents teach conflict resolution for kids as they grow up and progress in school.

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Top 3 Recipes to Make for National Chocolate Cake Day

Throughout the year, people celebrate a number of different holidays. Be Black Friday or Thanksgiving, people have assigned almost every single day to any holiday that they could think of. But what’s so special about chocolate to have a day for it?

Chocolate, just like wine, is fermented. This happens when farmers harvest cacao pods, clean them, free them from the white material, and dry them out. Cacao beans undergo the process of fermentation. Little by little, the papery shell gets removed and reveals the cacao nibs. Afterwards, chocolatiers grind them into a cocoa mass and separate it into solids and butter. Others then process the mass and mix in milk and sugar. Some transform it into white chocolate by just using chocolate butter, milk, and sugar. People celebrate National Chocolate Day every October 28! Remember to mark that on your calendars as it’s a very chocolatey day!

What recipes can you try for National Chocolate Day?

A lot of people wonder how to incorporate chocolate into almost anything that they eat. Now, we have these three (3) recipes that you may try in order to celebrate this very chocolatey day!

Chocolate Chip-Date French Toast

Ingredients

For the French toast:

• 6 large egg yolks (save the whites for your ultra-healthy breakfast tomorrow!)
• 1 1/2 cups whole milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup fresh orange juice
• 1 teaspoon grated orange zest
• 2 tablespoons packed light brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon garam masala
• Kosher salt
• Unsalted butter, for frying
• 1 small loaf challah bread, sliced 1 inch thick
• Small handful of semisweet chocolate chips
• 4 dates, pitted and chopped

For the syrup:

• 1/2 cup pure maple syrup
• 1 teaspoon bourbon

Directions

1. Make the French toast: Whisk the egg yolks, milk, vanilla, orange juice and zest, brown sugar, cinnamon, garam masala and a pinch of salt in a large glass baking dish.
2. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F. Put a wire rack on a baking sheet and place in the oven.
3. Set a large skillet over medium heat and add 1 tablespoon butter. While the butter melts, prick a few holes on each side of a slice of bread with a fork. Lay it in the egg mixture and, using either a fork or your hands, push the bread into the egg mixture so the bread loosens up a little and soaks up the liquid. Flip and repeat.
4. Using a slotted spatula or tongs, pick up the bread, allowing the excess egg mixture to drip off, and lay it in the hot pan. As the first side is cooking, 2 to 3 minutes, push chocolate chips and chopped dates into the soft, uncooked side of the bread. Be assertive! Then flip and cook 2 to 3 more minutes. Remove and set on the rack in the oven to stay warm. Repeat with the remaining slices of bread, adding more butter to the pan if needed.
5. Meanwhile, make the syrup: Combine the maple syrup and bourbon. Warm it in the microwave, if you want. (You can make the syrup the night before; store in a jar in the fridge, then warm before serving.)

Chocolate Lasagna

Ingredients

• 36 Oreo cookies
• 6 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1⁄4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 tablespoons milk, cold
• 1 (12 ounce) container Cool Whip, divided
• 2 (4 ounce) packages chocolate instant pudding
• 3 1⁄4 cups milk, cold
• 1 1⁄2 cups mini chocolate chips

Directions

1. Begin by crushing 36 Oreo cookies. I used my food processor for this, but you could also place them in a large ziplock bag and crush them with a rolling pin. When the Oreos have turned into fine crumbs, you are done.
2. Transfer the Oreo crumbs to a large bowl. Stir in 6 tablespoons melted butter and use a fork to incorporate the butter into the cookie crumbs. When the butter is distributed, transfer the mixture to a 9 x 13 inch baking dish. Press the crumbs into the bottom of the pan. Place the pan in the refrigerator while you work on the additional layers.
3. Mix the cream cheese with a mixer until light and fluffy. Add in 2 Tablespoons of milk and sugar, then mix well. Stir in 1 and 1/4 cups Cool Whip. Spread this mixture over the crust.
4. In a bowl, combine the chocolate instant pudding with 3 and 1/4 cups cold milk. Whisk for several minutes until the pudding starts to thicken. Use a spatula to spread the mixture over the previous cream cheese layer. Allow the dessert to rest for about 5 minutes so that the pudding can firm up further.
5. Spread the remaining Cool Whip over the top. Sprinkle mini chocolate chips evenly over the top. Place in the freezer for 1 hour, or the refrigerator for 4 hours before serving.

No Bake Chocolate Oat Bars

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter
• 1/2 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 3 cups quick cooking oats
• 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup peanut butter

Directions

• Prep: 30 m
• Ready in: 3 h 30 m

1. Grease a 9×9 inch square pan.
2. Melt butter in large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in brown sugar and vanilla. Mix in the oats. Cook over low heat 2 to 3 minutes, or until ingredients are well blended. Press half of mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan. Reserve the other half for topping.
3. Meanwhile, melt chocolate chips and peanut butter in a small heavy saucepan over low heat, stirring frequently until smooth. Pour the chocolate mixture over the crust in the pan, and spread evenly with a knife or the back of a spoon.
4. Crumble the remaining oat mixture over the chocolate layer, pressing in gently. Cover, and refrigerate 2 to 3 hours or overnight. Bring to room temperature before cutting into bars.

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Hopefully, this makes your National Chocolate Day more sumptuous!

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How to Deal with Child Separation Anxiety at Drop Off

When children go to school, they feel anxious, especially if they see their parents drive off to work. Parents deal with child anxiety separation in different ways, but is it effective? Some children continue crying even after they arrive inside their classroom. Parents wonder how to calm their children.

The feeling of being dropped off scares children as they enter an unfamiliar place. It takes a while before they get comfortable with their surroundings. Teachers help parents ease children and manage their separation anxiety.

How to deal with child separation anxiety?

Parents send their children to school and drive to work. Children feel scared that they may not see their parents and start crying. They get emotional, especially if they don’t get their goodbye hugs, kisses, or words of encouragement. The Pillars Christian Learning Center helps parents manage their child’s separation anxiety.

Share encouraging stories about school

One of the primary things that parents need to do to manage their child’s separation anxiety is to share good stories about their own experience with school. However, challenges never go away and parents might mention bad experiences. Focus on the positive experiences and things you learned in school. This lets children know that you were once in their position and it is normal.

Remember to avoid using or starting a conversation with these sentences:

• Refrain saying, “Yay! Classes tomorrow got suspended!” or, “We need to get you to school despite this weather!”
• Avoid taking their toys away just because they won’t stop crying or fussing.
• Even if they successfully tied their shoelaces, do not give them treats just because they did it well.

Words are very powerful tools and when parents share the right stories, it makes them think positively about school. This helps them think brightly about school and look forward to attending class.

Leave a bracelet or comforting piece to the child

During their parents’ younger days, they brought their favorite stuffed toy or blanket to school. They do this to feel secure about going to an unfamiliar place. For their children, it may be their parents’ bracelet, hair tie, or even handkerchief. Anything they can hold works fine!

When children hold onto it, they can cope with their fears. This makes them relax and calm down just in time for school. This reassures them that they will see their parents at the end of school.

Strive to arrive earlier than the other children

Arriving earlier than most children reduces their anxiety as they settle in before the other kids. This gives them a chance to talk to their teacher and open up about things that bother them. Then, children can share their favorite things about school or their favorite activities. Talking helps them release tension and calm down.

When they arrive earlier, it helps them relax and prepare for the day.

Guide them through school

School gives children different tasks that confuse them at times. Children tell their parents that they get confused with these activities and need assistance. Parents can walk them through the activities and guide them along the way. Some parents walk their kids through the hallway.

Remember to hold their hands while walking along the school hallway. Pause for a moment when you reach their classroom. Give them a good luck hug or kiss, or just a simple reassurance that you will fetch them after school.

Always give children goodbye hug or kiss

A goodbye kiss or hug always comforts children and helps them calm down. Parents, never leave your children at school without giving them any hug or kiss. That just strengthens their separation anxiety. Your actions help them feel loved and secure that you’ll come back to fetch them after school.

These actions calm them down. It reassures children about going through the day and making friends along the way.

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Dropping off children at school gives parents challenges and things can get emotional. Parents deal with their child separation anxiety in different ways. The Pillars Christian Learning Center continues to help children and parents manage their fears and survive preschool.

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Bedtime Routines that are Screen Free

Too much screen time isn’t ideal for children.  If you are a parent, you have probably experienced the problem of getting your children to bed on time. There will be nights you’ll struggle. There will be times when your child has too much energy to go to bed. A solid bedtime routine is important for everyone—especially for children.

Children today are used to consuming media from devices such as tablets, televisions, and smartphones.  While they can get a lot of benefits from media, screen time comes with a lot of negative impacts as well. Here are some bedtime routines you can do with your little ones that don’t involve any screen time.

Reading before Bedtime

Starting a book club with your family can be a fun and enjoyable thing to do. After having your children wash up and brush their teeth, get cozy and sit close to them as you open up a book to read for the night. Read a chapter or two each night and take a moment to discuss with them what happened in that chapter.

Do Puzzles Together

Introduce your child to puzzles. Start small, like a 10 to 20 piece  puzzle, then work your way up depending on their progress. Completing these puzzles before going to bed will build up their determination and when they finally finish, they will feel pure joy. A perfect ending for a beautiful day, don’t you think?

Doodling and Drawing

Get your children some drawing or coloring books and some pencil and coloring materials. Before bedtime, let their imagination come out as they fill the drawing books with their doodles and their coloring books with colors.

Teach your children to meditate

Meditation is easy. It’s not something you have to study, and you don’t  have to do it on a daily basis. Teach them to let their minds settle and be at peace. Teach them some breathing exercises and put on relaxing music to help them fall fast asleep.

Talk to them

Talk to your kids about how their day went. Ask them what happened in school, if anything interesting took place. Ask them who they made friends with and who they sat together with at lunch and played with at recess. Ask them for details and listen. These talks will bring you and your child closer as you get to know who they are at school.

Play Hide and Seek

You can do this once in a while. Head outside and play a quick game of hide and seek. The person with a flashlight will count from one to ten and the others will hide. When he is done counting, he’ll start to find those hiding and will shine the flashlight on the first person he sees. That person will be the next seeker. Just make sure to use mosquito or bug spray, especially during summer months.

Play “Did you know?”

Your children can be most attentive during bedtime, especially when they still have a lot of energy left. This is the perfect time to play a game of “Did you know?” In this game, you can tell interesting facts about any topics you want them to know, like family history and trivial facts. Turn it into a fun game by telling the most facts you can.

Make this a time to plan

While prepping your children for bed, you can go over what you plan to do the next day. Talk to your children and ask them if they have any plans for tomorrow. If you have any exciting plans, prepare them for them. However, try not to talk about anything that might be stressful for them. If they have an exam the next day or a dentist appointment, don’t bring it up.

Be a Snuggle Bunny

Everybody loves to snuggle, especially with someone who is just freshly out of the shower. Snuggle with your child before they go to bed and take this time to reconnect with them. Take this time to grow your bond stronger with them as you snuggle with them as they fall asleep.

The time before children go to bed is a great time to connect with them. Screen time should be discouraged because this will just interfere with the children’s sleeping. To give your children ample sleep and rest, limit their screen time and do one or two of the tips listed above.

Looking for a great Christian school you can trust to enroll your child in? Look no further. Visit The Pillars Christian Learning Center today!

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5 Reasons Why You Should Send Your Child to a Christian School

Find out How You Can Help Others on World Food Day

World Food Day is observed on the 16th of October each year. This day is celebrated to honor the date when the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations was founded in 1935. It is also recognized to raise awareness about hunger, as well as encourage the public to take action is to help eliminate world hunger.

The World Food Day is celebrated by organizing food drives and distributing free meals for the homeless and less fortunate. If you have the heart to participate in this holiday, here are some of the ways you can take a stand against hunger and make a difference.

Take a photo of your meal and share it on  social media

If you think taking photos of your sumptuous meals and uploading them on the social media is meaningless, then you have been thinking wrong. By sharing photos of your meals, you are also literally sharing your food. All you have to do is to download FoodShareFilter or Feedie. Both applications were designed to help fight global hunger. Every time photos of food are shared using the app, the restaurant donates a meal to an organization called the Lunchbox Fund that provides meals for orphaned children in South Africa.

Volunteer in your local community garden

Food scarcity and insecurity affect people living in poverty and those who have limited access to healthy and fresh food. Help make a difference by volunteering in your local urban garden. Address hunger by getting outside, by connecting with people, and by distributing fresh produce to people who need it most.

Participate in local community events

There are plenty of local events you can participate in if you want to help fight hunger in your community. Search World Food Day USA on Google to find some ways you can help. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities: packing meals for the homeless, walking for hunger, or helping out in a soup kitchen to name a few. No matter how big or small, your efforts will make a difference. However, you help out will be valuable for the nourishment of those who are in need. So serve your community by giving your time and efforts.

Help improve the quality of school lunches

In different parts of the United States and throughout the world, a school lunch or breakfast may be the only full meal a student eats in a day. The sad part is that these meals do not always contain important nutrients a child needs for growth and development. By improving the quality of food at schools, children can enjoy better health and improve their academic performance.

Treat yourself

Did you know that by treating yourself with your favorite food at your favorite restaurant, you are also making a difference in the world’s problem with hunger and food scarcity? So go ahead and invite a friend for a meaningful and sumptuous meal. As soon as the check arrives, donate the cost of your meal by joining the #HungerFree movement. This movement is organized to help fight hunger in South Sudan, Kenya, and many other parts of the globe.

Attend an event

If you are looking for other ways to participate in  World Food Day, you can visit foodday.org and enter your zip code to find an event near you. It doesn’t matter which event you choose, whether you dine or donate, the important thing is that you are helping spread awareness. You are also encouraging people to join the fight against hunger.

Food scarcity and hunger may seem to be overwhelming global problems. But if we all decide to take action, even in our little ways, and become advocates for health and food, we can all make a difference to make this world a better place.

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