Tuesday, February 19, 2019

5 Uncommon Ways to Stop Toddler Power Struggles

Parents endure toddler power struggles very often. Before they go to work, children throw tantrums because they don’t want their parents to leave. Other times, they fight their parents due to the food for lunch or dinner. Some instances involve fighting due to the screen time they have and their parents just set the limit. Parents feel puzzled on how to manage their toddlers, especially if they refuse to listen to their words.

Changing some ways on managing the toddlers may do you good. This includes reducing punitive reinforcement and more positive parenting. Will this be effective for your family?

How to manage toddler power struggles?

It is painful to experience these power struggles as toddlers may continue this behavior when they grow up. Some kick the walls, punch the pillows, or scream at their parents just to get what they want. Parents ask themselves, what happened? Where did they go wrong?

While most parents wonder how to curb their toddlers’ misbehavior, some come up with uncommon ways to stop toddler power struggles. Read through the following and try these out in your homes.

Put yourself in your toddler’s shoes

Most of the time, parents tell their children what to do. From telling them to brush their teeth, to taking baths, toddlers sometimes feel that parents just order them around. When they stop doing what their parents want, parents lose their patience and sometimes explode.

However, if parents look at things from their toddlers’ shoes, they will see things differently.

For example:

Scenario:

Mom tells her toddler to brush their teeth just after watching their favorite tv show. However, toddler refuses. Mom gets angry at the toddler for refusing to obey what she said.

On the other hand, if mom sees this from the toddler’s perspective. The toddler just wants to rest for a bit since they feel lazy right after their favorite show. They will brush their teeth after a few minutes. Mom tends to see and jump to conclusions right away before thinking how will her toddler feel.

Parents need to remember that toddlers think differently than adults do. Remember that children will not understand everything you say automatically. Before reprimanding them, try to be in their shoes and look at things from their eyes.

Offer toddlers choices

During this toddler phase, they explore their environment and start to choose what they eat or which toy they want to play with. Sometimes, parents forget their children will grow up and neglect that they can choose which activities they want to do.

But how can parents change the game that their toddlers might be playing? Follow these three (3) steps in order to successfully give toddlers choices.

  • Limit their options to two (2) choices only.
  • Reassure them that as their parent, you’ll respect their choice.
  • Choices must be approved by the parents as well.
  • Offer these choices when necessary and not all the time.

Refrain from snapping at the toddler

Do you clash with the toddlers’ power struggles? Did you listen to what the toddler was saying before snapping at them?

Just when toddlers get on your nerves, pause for a moment. Take deep breaths and think about what might happen if you snapped.

One of the best ways of stopping toddler power struggles is to give toddlers extra time so they can prepare themselves. Begin with showing the toddler how to set up the table rather than snapping at them for not doing a good performance.

Extend your patience

Did the toddler just test your patience? When parents feel annoyed at their children about their rough antics, some parents just explode. In the end, it hurts their children and when their parents see that, it hurts them too.

One of the best things to do when this happens is to avoid adding fire to the ruckus the toddler already made. If the toddler throws a tantrum, prevent yourself from throwing one too. When the toddler sees their parents throw a tantrum, they might copy it every single time.

Remember to exercise your patience and deal with your children calmly.

Don’t let the toddler be an extension of yourself

Most parents think that their toddlers are mini versions of themselves. However, that’s not the case. Children have their own identities and are not the mini versions of their parents.

They’re completely different from their parents. Sometimes, parents get annoyed when their children stop doing what they want them to do. This results in power struggles and terrible tantrums.

From one adult to another, it is painful to be treated like someone without worth. The same concept applies to children as well. Let them be their own selves and respect them as another human being.


Parents can find other ways to discipline a toddler. Some consider trying positive parenting techniques instead of punitive methods. Truth be told, it sometimes is by trial and error as every kid is different. The Pillars Christian Learning Center helps parents curb toddler power struggles through calm and peaceful methods. When you feel everything’s going nowhere, just remember to consult preschools near you.

The post 5 Uncommon Ways to Stop Toddler Power Struggles appeared first on The Pillars Christian Learning Center.



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Monday, February 11, 2019

Top 5 Steps How to Teach Conflict Resolution for Kids

Kids often have arguments with other kids, especially when expressing their interests about tv shows or even cartoon characters. When they play with their friends, sometimes rough play can happen and it leads to fights. This happens not only in school but also at home, with siblings. They argue who gets to play with the remote controlled car or the video game console at home.

Every family differs on how they resolve conflict among children. Some take away their favorite toys or playing privileges in the afternoon. However, what are the best ways to teach conflict resolution to kids?

How can parents teach conflict resolution to kids?

Parents wonder when they should teach their children about conflict resolution. Kids get into small fights with their friends or when they have concerns with the teachers. Read through these steps and learn how to teach conflict resolution to kids.

Express the problem and understand their side

First, before parents start teaching their kids, let them calm down first. If parents begin telling their kids about conflict resolution while they still feel angry, it leads to something catastrophic. It might end up with the kid resenting their parent for doing so.

Take them out for a walk or a meal then let them calm down. When they have calmed down, start the conversation with asking how they feel about their day, how things are in school or how things led to the conflict with the other kid.

Let them share the problem themselves and don’t force it out of them or insinuate that they started everything. Tell them that honesty in this situation is vital to resolving the conflict.

When speaking to them, remember to teach them to use “I” in their statements, especially in expressing or sharing their feelings.

For example:

 

  • I forgot my lunch box in the cafeteria and blamed him for taking it.

 

  • Yesterday, I felt they were targeting me to lose the game so I ruined the board.

 

 

Extend your patience

In resolving a problem between people, remember to clear the mind first and distance the kids from one another in order to calm them down. Take them to a park or the playground for a few minutes. Others have them try counting activities, like counting from 1 to 100 or identify the different numbers in the deck of cards. Some encourage the kid to write down what they feel on a piece of paper.

When parents notice the kid calming down and breathing normally, slowly ask them about what happened without making them feel uncomfortable. Reassure them that they will figure things out when they calm down before trying to solve the conflict.

Give a proper and sincere apology

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.

A well-thought apology communicates three (3) vital elements: regret, responsibility, and remedy. Apologizing to someone seems difficult at first. However, it strengthens the relationships you have with other people.

When parents encourage their kids to think of a good apology, it may be in the form of a letter sent to the kid they fought with. It may also be a talk between them so they can express their most sincere thoughts about the conflict. Sometimes, kids do not know how to make an apology letter.

Parents, share these elements with kids when they make an apology letter:

  • Remember to tell the kid to use, “I’m sorry” in the letter or when they speak to the other kid.
  • Know the kid’s fault and let them admit how they messed things up in the first place. It could be in the form of, “I grabbed your hair and it hurt you badly.
  • Let kids express how they will fix their conflict and tell them to ask for their forgiveness.

When kids give insincere apologies, it leads to negative reactions such as:

  • Blaming the other kid for their fault
  • Not being responsible for their actions
  • Telling that the conflict was all a joke or a prank

Encourage kids to resolve the problem on their own

Parents give their children power, especially when it comes to conflict resolution. To parents, they forget to let their kids learn how to resolve problems and most of the time, they do it for their kids. This prevents kids from learning on their own and spoils them in the end.

Empower the kids by motivating them to listen to the other child and understanding what they say. Remind them not to use words that would end up hurting both of them.

Ask how the kids are doing

Check on the kids whenever you can and see if they resolved their issues or if they talked with each other already. Ask if they have started talking again or playing with each other.

However, if kids failed to resolve this conflict and refused to listen to the other kid, just find another one to play with. Remember to still be respectful and kind when speaking with each other.


Whenever kids encounter conflict with each other, parents and teachers come to the rescue. However, there are times when they need to learn to resolve conflict on their own. The Pillars Christian Learning Center continues to help parents teach conflict resolution for kids as they grow up and progress in school.

The post Top 5 Steps How to Teach Conflict Resolution for Kids appeared first on The Pillars Christian Learning Center.



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