Kids often have arguments with other kids, especially when expressing their interests about tv shows or even cartoon characters. When they play with their friends, sometimes rough play can happen and it leads to fights. This happens not only in school but also at home, with siblings. They argue who gets to play with the remote controlled car or the video game console at home.
Every family differs on how they resolve conflict among children. Some take away their favorite toys or playing privileges in the afternoon. However, what are the best ways to teach conflict resolution to kids?
How can parents teach conflict resolution to kids?
Parents wonder when they should teach their children about conflict resolution. Kids get into small fights with their friends or when they have concerns with the teachers. Read through these steps and learn how to teach conflict resolution to kids.
Express the problem and understand their side
First, before parents start teaching their kids, let them calm down first. If parents begin telling their kids about conflict resolution while they still feel angry, it leads to something catastrophic. It might end up with the kid resenting their parent for doing so.
Take them out for a walk or a meal then let them calm down. When they have calmed down, start the conversation with asking how they feel about their day, how things are in school or how things led to the conflict with the other kid.
Let them share the problem themselves and don’t force it out of them or insinuate that they started everything. Tell them that honesty in this situation is vital to resolving the conflict.
When speaking to them, remember to teach them to use “I” in their statements, especially in expressing or sharing their feelings.
For example:
- I forgot my lunch box in the cafeteria and blamed him for taking it.
- Yesterday, I felt they were targeting me to lose the game so I ruined the board.
Extend your patience
In resolving a problem between people, remember to clear the mind first and distance the kids from one another in order to calm them down. Take them to a park or the playground for a few minutes. Others have them try counting activities, like counting from 1 to 100 or identify the different numbers in the deck of cards. Some encourage the kid to write down what they feel on a piece of paper.
When parents notice the kid calming down and breathing normally, slowly ask them about what happened without making them feel uncomfortable. Reassure them that they will figure things out when they calm down before trying to solve the conflict.
Give a proper and sincere apology
“Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Keep your words soft and tender because tomorrow you may have to eat them.”
A well-thought apology communicates three (3) vital elements: regret, responsibility, and remedy. Apologizing to someone seems difficult at first. However, it strengthens the relationships you have with other people.
When parents encourage their kids to think of a good apology, it may be in the form of a letter sent to the kid they fought with. It may also be a talk between them so they can express their most sincere thoughts about the conflict. Sometimes, kids do not know how to make an apology letter.
Parents, share these elements with kids when they make an apology letter:
- Remember to tell the kid to use, “I’m sorry” in the letter or when they speak to the other kid.
- Know the kid’s fault and let them admit how they messed things up in the first place. It could be in the form of, “I grabbed your hair and it hurt you badly.”
- Let kids express how they will fix their conflict and tell them to ask for their forgiveness.
When kids give insincere apologies, it leads to negative reactions such as:
- Blaming the other kid for their fault
- Not being responsible for their actions
- Telling that the conflict was all a joke or a prank
Encourage kids to resolve the problem on their own
Parents give their children power, especially when it comes to conflict resolution. To parents, they forget to let their kids learn how to resolve problems and most of the time, they do it for their kids. This prevents kids from learning on their own and spoils them in the end.
Empower the kids by motivating them to listen to the other child and understanding what they say. Remind them not to use words that would end up hurting both of them.
Ask how the kids are doing
Check on the kids whenever you can and see if they resolved their issues or if they talked with each other already. Ask if they have started talking again or playing with each other.
However, if kids failed to resolve this conflict and refused to listen to the other kid, just find another one to play with. Remember to still be respectful and kind when speaking with each other.
Whenever kids encounter conflict with each other, parents and teachers come to the rescue. However, there are times when they need to learn to resolve conflict on their own. The Pillars Christian Learning Center continues to help parents teach conflict resolution for kids as they grow up and progress in school.
The post Top 5 Steps How to Teach Conflict Resolution for Kids appeared first on The Pillars Christian Learning Center.
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